Sometimes it takes awhile to move on from a loss. Have you ever accepted losing someone, but couldn’t move on without knowing what happened? I have.
I loss a Sister who means so much to me in January 2016. After meeting Sister Ta-Neesha on Twitter, I always wanted to know more about her, but at first I did not know why. We would talk off and on, but each time we would converse, it was more than small talk, always a meaningful dialogue. Saying we took turns, seems so off… However, we’d literally helped one another at different points throughout our journeys to grow closer to Allah (God) and there’s no way that I take any of it lightly because by the grace of Allah she has helped me with my Islam.
If you’re not familiar, Sister Ta-Neesha went missing on January 12, 2016. Eleven days later, it was announced that she was found in Markham’s frozen pond. I actually just realized it was eleven days that we did not know what happened with our Sister. In the time that she was amongst us, she would always acknowledge the time 7:11. This just made her going away more meaningful and very significant. If you were looking from the outside in, it seemed as if 7:11 was a corny thing that she did, but it actually gives insight into her and messages for each of us as individuals. Eleven is an angelic number is all that I will say here.
After a year of praying and reflecting on the evidence that was presented from our conversations and online, Allah allowed me to meet two people who knew her more than I could and that’s what brought me closure. It’s interesting how life works. Sometimes you don’t actually know why someone is entering your life, but it allowed me to learn so much more about Sister Ta-Neesha and even myself. It helped me to understand what happened to her the day she went missing. I may never have the full clarity, but today on her birthday I am able to say I accept what happened to her. Accepting the loss has helped me start this new chapter of my life.
I’ve shared this to say, you may not always understand why a loss happened in the time that it occurs. However, eventually you’ll receive the understanding that you need, if you’re working towards it.
I did not know parts of Sister Ta-Neesha would be like holding a mirror up to me. Sometimes we meet people to show us glimpses of ourselves (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I’m not saying I got to see all three levels of me in her, but I related to her in many ways. We shared experiences across the world and somehow a lot of our dreams were one in the same. I’m happy to share our birthdays exactly one month a part.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Neesh, who lives on within others. I love you forever my Jamaican Sister.